Tis the season to read catalogs. I've got Wireless, L. L. Bean, Lands' End and J Crew. I'm skipping the J. C. Penney and mall store catalogs to look at the national ones. They've all got lots of things that would make great Christmas gifts. I'm sure if I just glance through them I'll find perfect gifts for all my friends and family without the need to tramp through the malls and streets. Besides, they also can provide a great assortment of sizes, they will ship directly overnight and I can put it all on my charge cards. I think there's still a little headroom on Discover.
What do these catalogs offer? What's the gimmick? They seem to be about nostalgia, style and self definition. Signals and Wireless have videos, audiotapes and tie-in products to public broadcasting programs. In addition they have an interesting mix of artwork, jewelry, T-shirts, books, ties, religious objects, gag gifts and officially licensed products.
At first glance the television catalog appears to contain a bit more upscale product line. Wireless, a catalog for fans and friends of public radio. Signals, a catalog for fans and friends of public television. Two catalogs of neat things. Both catalogs give the impression that they are connected to networks, either National Public Radio (NPR) or the Public Broadcasting System (PBS); while in fact, neither one is connected to a network. According to the fine print inside the front cover, Wireless is part of Minnesota Public Radio while Signals is part of the WGBH Educational Foundation. Even odder is the fact that the return address for the WGBH Educational Foundation is Saint Paul, Minnesota instead of Cambridge, Massachusetts. One has a post office box number of 64422 while the other has box number 64428.
This J. Crew catalog is neat too. Full page, full bleed pictures of waist-up products that are slightly out of focus. The models have hair that's mussed up and a lot of the guys have a two-day stubble growth. They all look to be twenty-somethings. There's a guy in deep snow looking under the hood of his antique International pickup truck.
In the Bean Christmas catalog the guy is shoveling snow from under the tires of his 1953 GMC pickup. The Bean guys look to be 30 or even 40. The Lands' End guys appear to be similar to the Bean guys except there might be a bit more recession in the hairline. Wireless and Signals don't have any models, the product photos are placed in the catalog without backgrounds and then fake drop shadows are added to make them, "Pop off the page."
11:00 a.m., Saturday, November 11
None of this stuff in the Signals and Wireless catalogs is of much use except as presents. The prices are pretty steep compared to more generic items in the stores. A silk necktie goes for $32.50 in the Wireless catalog while most store ties are $15 to $20. The difference is in the surface application of style or art. For the higher price you get ties with joggers, periodic table of the elements, Christmas ornaments, the U.S.S. Enterprise, the Rolling Stones falling tongue design, happy faces, snowflakes, railroad logos, Save the Children logos, M. C. Escher prints, Frank Lloyd Wright prints, the twelve days of Christmas or an Ex Libris tie picturing book shelves.
Put M. C. Escher around your neck just as you would pin your heart on your sleeve. Each one is an attempt to externalize something about the wearer. The Save the Children logo tie would advertise your caring and concern to others while the Frank Lloyd Wright or M. C. Escher ties will announce to the world that you value the finer things in life like art and architecture. The Star Trek, Rolling Stones, book shelves and railroad logos let others know of your collections or interests.
Recycled religion appears to be big with Signals and Wireless reader/buyers. Both catalogs feature numerous gifts in the Santa Claus and Christian traditions. In addition they both have items from other traditions such as Buddhist, Jewish, Native American, Goddess groups and mystical or ancient cults.
The Jewish Book of Why, 4th Century Celtic key of life ring, a Chaos hexagram print from the I Ching, T'ai Chi health videotapes, the "lost teachings" of Joseph Campbell, the 1996 Zen calendar, a contemplative Buddha, and a collection of 25 native American myths.
Wireless has that irascible native American flute player Kokopelli in a 10 inch tall, steel silhouette – slightly altered – his flute has been replace by a golf club. They also have recycled Christian images into a number of special products. The rose window from Notre Dame makes a nice umbrella print while a 20 by 26 inch photo of the cathedral is cut up into a thousand piece picture puzzle that, hold on to your pew, glows in the dark.
"Priceless" illuminated manuscripts are applied to a silk tie; Michelangelo's David makes a neat 8 inch tall paper doll complete with work boots, jogging pants, bulging jockey shorts and a black leather jacket.
The special "under $30 gift section," has an even better deal on David cause you can get all his marble muscled glory trimmed in Santa fur, black boots and red bikini briefs for only $12.
For $29 you get a tacky brass treasure chest in a red velvet pouch filled with frankincense and myrrh, throw it on your fire and he/she'll melt into your arms.
The Wireless catalog has 5 or 6 items on every page and about 56 pages total. Out of 308 items advertised only 5 had a connection with NPR radio programs. The Signals catalog has a similar ratio of related items. About the only NPR or PBS items that are selling this Christmas are the retread audiotapes of Garrison Keillor. Ops, just ran across the set of 5 Sesame Street straws with Muppets characters hanging on them for $14.95, the Dr. Who tapes and Connections Collection of videotapes with James Burke.
Many of the videos for sale in the Signals catalog are A&E Mystery videos, or Upstairs-Downstairs as seen on A&E, Edwin Drood as seen on A&E, Absolutely Fabulous as seen on the Comedy Channel, History's Turning Points as seen on the Learning Channel, Lovejoy from A&E and Miss Marple from A&E. Looks like we don't need public broadcasting anymore since private enterprise channels are outbidding them for programs.
In the Wireless catalog you can get an authentic photograph of the Memphis Belle (of recent movie fame) autographed by the pilot for $49.00. The next best thing to personal fame is somebody else's fame, in a frame.
We've got two pages of neat, extra spiritual, Indian (excuse me, native American) thingies. The next best thing to your own deep spirituality is, maybe, a $32 Native Pattern Suncatcher, or maybe a traditional Navajo Blanket sweatshirt for $39.00. Besides, you can pass on your Native American spirituality to your kids so much easier than the real thing.
If you can't be spiritual you can at least kick butt and raise hell. Get yourself or a friend a Harley-Davidson CD with over 30 rock'n'roll songs or a H-D watch for only $99. How about a shirt that says, "I'm the Speaker in This House!"
What's in the mind of the giver or the woman who wears a sweatshirt that says, "She who must be obeyed!" There's a little pent-up aggression coming-out when people wear some of these shirts, like, "First National Bank of Dad, sorry closed."
Sweatshirts are neat because you can be whatever you want to be, and you can change shirts and persona without any distracting buttons or zippers. If you can't afford a genuine Navajo Blanket sweatshirt for 39 dollars you might have to settle for a Spam sweatshirt for only $29. For $27, two dollars less than Spam you can get a sweat shirt that says, "The road to enlightenment is long and difficult... So bring snacks and a magazine." At the 26 dollar level all you can get is a picture of the earth from space and the phrase, "Good planets are hard to find."
Judging from the sweatshirt prices, it looks like the environmental movement is washed up. Well, here's proof of the fast changing times, the environment is the cheapest sweatshirt in the whole catalog.
Sunday November 19th @ 7:50 a.m.
To sum it up, it looks like the Signals and Wireless catalogs are pretty much Xmas catalogs for busy middle class and above families that have more money than time. None of the items pictured are at all essential or even marginally "useful." There sole value is their status value as gifts. There's something in these catalogs that's bound to appeal to just about anyone you know. You can buy them something that's related to their favorite hobby, sport, music, painter, period, style, automobile, television show, radio program or psychological hangup. You can buy them something that is marginally "personalized" with their profession, ethnic background, initials or favorite category of pet (at least cat and dog).
All of the items are guaranteed to be in good taste and you'll never have to worry about giving a gift of kitsch. On the other hand few of these items are really individualized. A real Trekkie probably has specific interests in the show that these knock-off items might not satisfy. They might prefer a copy of a real Star Trek communicator rather than a keychain. A golfer probably would prefer a half dozen good golf balls (his or her favorite brand) instead of one more shirt with a cute golf saying on it. And a classical music buff probably has access to a far better selection of CDs than the slim offerings in these two catalogs.
Sunday, November 19th @ 6:30 p.m.
Mike Smith, President of Lands' End probably says it best on page one of the 1995 Land's Ends Christmas catalog:
Of course pushing their way into the letter above from the column on the right are a pair of elephants and a handpainted ark for only $400. But this first two page spread is just frosting on the cake designed to lure you into the main event, the clothes. The rest of the catalog sells the goods. Page 4 is a full page (8.5 by 11 inch) bleed photo of a red cashmere sweater. Page 5 complements it with a busier page including four small pictures of products and some ad copy and price information. The full page photo allows you to get right in there and feel the texture of the fabric. A strip of grosgrain ribbon adds to the sense of texture.
This Lands' End catalog keeps on bouncing along like this with one full page picture balanced with a page of description until page 66, the centerfold where we have a two-page spread turned sideways featuring the goose down parka for $140.
At page 80 we run out of big clothes and switch to small goods like gloves and hats. These are shown sans the big full page spreads.
Then we get 60 pages of women's items followed by about 60 pages of mens clothes.
The final pages feature household and Xmas objects. Mens ties are Scotch plain, British regimental stripes, Ivy League reps or Paisley; all very traditional choices that appeal to that sense of joining the elite, of gaining some identity.
J. Crew has a simple cover that should be very different from the rest of the Xmas catalogs, it's one big shirt picture on a white background with the words J. Crew above and Christmas 1995 below. The opening spread is an array of 8 Christmas "snap shots" done in a stylish way. The "family" consists of mom and day, grandpa, three young kids and maybe an older sister and brother that are college age.
The snaps are slapped on the page to resemble a home photo album and the prints are slightly overexposed and high contrast to give the impression of the real thing. We see older brother and little sis, from the backside, pounding out chopsticks on the baby grand. Down below Gramps, with the white "cookie duster" mustache and thinning white hair is reading the newspaper. Dad looks like the kids just got him up for Xmas morn because he has a two-day growth of stubble while mom appears out of focus between the two men. She's holding baby brother by the kitchen island.
The photo up top shows big brother, obviously home from college, sitting between gramps and mom, and he has his arm around both. The three little kids are leaning over the back of the couch trying to see what grandpa's present will be. In another pic, dad is hugging his favorite girl while the dog muzzles his way into the shot. And in the two opposite corners we see mom and the girls baking gingerbread men and wrapping presents.
These people are, of course, all models who are being paid to smile and hug and sell. Following the opening spread, all the way to page 132 we find spreads that feature one big product shot on one side and some little shots and descriptions on the other. That's the J. Crew catalog. The big full page pictures spread through the catalog all have a "snap shot" quality with out of focus elements, chopped off heads and people and a little bit two much white highlight.
At page 21 we get 4 pages that are very stark. Each one features just one folded shirt or sweater. The first two make a blue spread while the second two make a red spread. Then we get twenty pages of spreads with the one page big picture and one page details.
At page 36 we run into the paint it black section. Black coats, pants and tops. Black socks, black shoes black underwear. The spreads around page 55 are neat because they feature an array of seven sweaters spread across two pages. The sweaters are stunning because all seven colors are coordinated, in the same hue and saturation range, and they all seem to go together. Unfortunately, even if you could afford to buy more than one sweater you would not be able to wear them all at once and therefore the beautiful colors you buy in the catalog translate into a monocolor palette when you get them home.
Here's a whole page of natural leather shoes in a 4 by 4 array and they all match. All 16 pairs look like they were cut out of the same cow. A few pages later we get two spreads featuring similar arrays of all black shoes. Then the catalog segues into gray and monochrome palettes.
Then after thumbing through lots of women's stuff which I hardly even see let alone understand, we come to the final sweater sections with the amazing 1974 color selections just like they used to use on Laugh-In. They're close but not an exact match, the '96 colors are muted slightly they have the pastel look. Which reminds me, the Lands' End catalog had the real thing, 1957 baby pink and baby blue cashmere sweaters. Now if I just had a pair of charcoal pants and some white buck shoes to go with that baby pink sleeveless sweatervest. Both catalogs have made a concerted effort to clean up their graphics and achieve a simple uncluttered look. This should give reader the idea that the merchandise is slightly upscale compared to the more cluttered catalogs like L. L. Bean. The J. Crew catalog is graphically elegant with its closely cropped product photos floating on a sea of white paper over pale drop shadows. The overall judgment: collections of upscale clothing for yuppies who have little time to shop and who want a country casual look. They're making good money selling this stuff. The cotton flannel farmer plaid shirts are $38 in the catalog, about $15 dollars at the local farm store and $7 at the dollar bargain store.
Monday, November 20th
The J, C. Penney "Holiday Gift Ideas" catalog has the same express delivery and ordering system as the specialty catalog houses like L. L, Bean. Here I think, we see a case of a traditional department store moving toward a specialty catalog type of operation in order to retain or enhance business.
The first item in this catalog takes the cake. It's a lead crystal telephone for $125 (Taiwan). The fake rotary dial has touch tone push buttons on it. The hand set looks like one of those old French phones except for the lead crystal hand piece in the center. The boxy base is all beautiful pressed cut glass, er, lead crystal. Says it's got brass-plated accents. Give it a year or two of sweaty palms and it will look like a corroded battery. Isn't it romantic. I can just picture the cute guys, right off the cover of the latest bodice-ripping romance, on the other end of this telephone instrument.
The RCA "Commercial Advance" VCR on the next page catches my eye. The ad says it will automatically advance to virtually eliminate all commercials and it has VCR+ built in for only $299 (Korea). That really is a "commercial" advance. For $69.99 we can get a collectible Barbie "Solo in the Spotlight" doll phone (China). When the phone rings it plays an original 1954 song. The Barbie doll is made of porcelain and stands on some kinda black shiny plastic base with a push button phone set embedded in it.
Jewelry boxes, Polished gold-tone metal earrings, green and maroon velvet jumpers, metallic gold shoes, silver-plated zinc Victorian design jewelry boxes, high-heeled sequined pumps in three colors, a gold-toned Victorian box, heart shaped earrings, angel watches, Tweety Bird watches, Mickey Mouse watches, Starlight waltz Barbie for $95, Ken as Rhett for $75, five pages of Mickey Mouse stuff, a hand-painted 9-piece PVC nativity scene, a page of Radio Shack type junk, a page of L. L. Bean style natural stuff, NFL team jackets, silk boxer shorts for men, Aspen and Vail sweatshirts and a red, collector's model BMW 325i convertible in 1/18th scale for those who don't have enough room to park the real thing.
That cheap trash up front threw me for a moment, but this catalog isn't as bad as it looked at first. Lots of good clothes to cover the body and keep it warm in the winter. There's some junk in here that could be characterized as kitsch or the worst of "working class" taste but not too much.
For many people Xmas is a time when we buy some needed items like underwear and give them to the kids as presents being sure to mix in a few "goodie" items that are expensive or useless or just for fun. The necessities say, we're not so rich we can afford to spoil you while the goodies say you're so special that you deserve to get something very special at least once a year.
The J. C. Penney catalog for Christmas seems to be a close copy of the specialty catalogs. The big, comprehensive Christmas catalogs like Penneys, Wards and Sears ran into trouble back in the seventies and eighties as sales fell off and the companies could no longer afford to send out the giant books. It appears that Penney's has been reborn in the image of its competitors. Now it's a specialty catalog with a few expanded sidelines much like L. L. Bean.
Another Time and Another Place
Stuart Ewen and other critics of life might complain that folks nowadays are pouring their money
into the temple of commerce instead of the church, where after all, true religion rightly belongs. People probably
spend a lot less time and effort at supporting their local church than they do worrying about their credit card
payments and how they can finance the latest big screen TV. To say this commercialization of Xmas is wrong is to
elevate the concept of the traditional church over our present day commerce.
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Our "Santa" might be the cynical work of some 1920's Coca-Cola adman who blatently "stole" the church's sacred icon in order to recycle it into a thousand gimmicks to sell Coke.... So What? Santa Claus was probably a Protestant recycling of an Orthodox saint. And the Christmas tree was a low-down rip-off of sacred Norse religion by Christians who incorporated bits and pieces of native holidays into the church calender to appease the locals. And by appeasing the locals they were able to convert them to Christianity and then the holy church brothers and sisters could collect offerings from them and sell them indulgences. The church never lacked bread.
The holy fathers and mothers could teach the elite capitalist corporate titans a thing or two.
The Christian churches were built on the ruins of Greek and Roman temples which were built on the ruins of archaic religious ruins which were located at sacred sites from pre-history.
Life as Media Content
As a media consultant or instructional resources specialist, I've worked with or been associated
with lots of different people and disciplines doing instructional television, learning packages, programmed learning
texts, office buildings, news releases, slide sets, booklets, brochures, movies, public relations, learning toys,
complete curriculums, newsletters, multi-media shows, academic journals, web pages and computer bulletin boards.
Again and again, the communication problems I consult about devolve into questions of, "Where can we get some
content to fill our medium, quick and cheap if possible."
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Thinkers are few and far between (old cliche used for ironic purposes), while original thinkers are even more spaced out. Last week I got a call from Urbana, they needed some stuff to put on the web. They didn't call and say we need to get some information together because there is an audience out there demanding it, it was more an, "if you build it they will come," web site. Original thinkers often appear to be loony while more mundane voices are praised as inspired voices of a new generation. The passage of time usually sorts out the two.
The real problem is not enough thinkers, not enough original thinkers, not enough researchers, not enough searchers and way too much recycled filler in the media channels.
Original content is rare and rewarding. There is nothing better than a good book filled with original and/or creative ideas.
I stand in awe of scientists who use logic, mathematics, painstaking record keeping and scientific instruments to discover and theorize about how the world works.
John Cleese, Groucho Marx, Lucille Ball, Richard Pryor, Sylvia Hollander and Dennis Miller are funny. Betty Fridan and Joseph Heller have written books filled with fresh ideas culminating from years of searching.
The Beatles, Elvis and Motown did some original things with recycled blues while folksingers blazed some other trails.
People who know their birds and bees and poison ivy get my respect because they have the green thumbs that I don't possess.
Men and women who do good works because it's it's own reward and never tell a soul are original thinkers. People who can jump higher and run faster because they have practiced their craft amaze me.
Richard Buckminster Fuller
Richard Buckminster Fuller
Borderline crackpots intrigue me because they might be on to something. These people are original
thinkers some of the time, that's what makes them interesting. Today's crackpot might be tomorrows genius or he/she
might be an eternal crackpot. Once again only time will tell. Too far out means that something doesn't contain
enough of the old stuff. It's hard for audiences to accept the avant-garde in music, dance, theatre and the arts
because there aren't enough references to past genres and past artistic works.
If it's avant-garde then it probably doens't have enough recycled content. In the forward to The Medium is the Message, Marshall McLuhan claimed that his book contained about 90% new material whereas the average book was only about 10% new ideas. Therefore he predicted that folks would write him off as a crackpot.
What's the value of Christmas Catalogs? It comes down to the basic question of life:
Is it to supply the necessities of nature? The wages of the meanest laborer can supply them....
From whence, then, arises that emulation which runs through all the different ranks of men, and what are the advantages which we propose by that great purpose of human life which we call bettering our condition?... It is the vanity, not the ease, or the pleasure, which interests us.
But vanity is always founded upon the belief of our being the object of attention and approbation. The rich man glories in his riches, because he feels they naturally draw upon him the attention of the world....
At the thought of this, his heart seems to swell and dilate itself with him, and he is fonder of his wealth, upon this account, than for all the other advantages it procures him.
The poor man, on the contrary, is ashamed of his poverty.... The poor man goes out and comes in unheeded, and when in the midst of a crowd is in the same obscurity as if shut up in his own hovel.... The man of rank and distinction, on the contrary, is observed by all the world.
If you're just looking for your 15 minutes of fame, then recycled content is fine. Hire a PR agent buy some outlandish clothes, rent an impressive car, recycle some old wine in a new skin and go for it.
Christmas catalogs full of status symbols and cultural markers of the elites are a way for everybody to play the game of life, a way for everybody, "To be a somebody."
To sit in an elite ivory tower university and tell under-employed working class people and middle class managers who've lost their tenure to not participate in their own culture is windmill tilting of the highest order. It reminds me of the 60's activists trying to link up with the union workers. The hard hats turned into Reagan democrats in order to protect their 50,000 dollar a year blue-collar jobs.
A fine mess you've gotten us into this time, Ollie! How will we ever get out of it?
Muddling through
Isn't that the road we are on?